Just Live
by Nuuhtella
Summary: A one-shot about the end of Nicholas and Perenelle's lives. Written for round 3 of the QLFC season 5.


Written for the QLFC Season 5 - Round 3

Tutshill Tornados - Chaser 2

Prompt: Write about a truth that is accidentally found out.

Optional Prompts:  
[5] Difference (word)  
[7] You don't have to live forever. You just have to live. - Natalie Babbit, Tuck Everlasting (quote)  
[11] Regret (emotion)

 **Word Count:** 1,923

CW: Death - no violence but death is a big part of the story.

* * *

 _So this is it._

 _Finally._

 _The end._

Nicholas was sat in the comfy, old, moth-eaten chair which had stood behind his enormous, oak desk for almost six decades. He had meant to replace it many a year ago but had never quite gotten round to it.

 _The irony._

If he were honest with himself he'd never have thought it would end like this. He knew, of course, that it would have to end one day but… it had never occurred to him that the day would come so soon. It wasn't that he was afraid of death; in fact Nicholas found that he was quite looking forward to it. No, it was the fact that it was the result of the actions of others that had finally brought it about. Alas, there was no point on dwelling upon that fact any further since, regardless, the end _had_ arrived and it wasn't going anywhere.

And that chair would never be replaced.

A loud and impatient squawk sounded from the perch in the corner of the room on which a magnificent phoenix sat. Nicholas sat up slightly and gave him a sad smile before pulling a piece of parchment from his drawer, picking up his quill, and beginning to pen the letter that he knew would commence the end of his life:

 _My Dearest friend,_

 _I must confess that, although this has been a long time coming, I was not expecting it so soon or so abruptly. As I told you I have enough elixir to last us each six months. Some members of my family have already elected to stop drinking it and others have asked only for a month or two in order to settle their affair. However, Perenelle and I intend to continue to consume the elixir until the end._

Nicholas paused for a minute, finding it rather difficult to write the next few sentences.

 _As per our last discussion I must let you know that the deed is done._

 _I have destroyed the stone._

 _In all honesty it was harder to do than I had anticipated. Not physically, you understand, but emotionally. It was one of my biggest accomplishments and now it is gone forever. Which brings me to my next order of business and I am unsure of where to begin. As I have said the stone is destroyed, there is no doubt about that. But…_

He paused again.

 _But I could not bring myself to destroy my notes._

 _Albus, I hope you can understand. I know that the goal of destroying the stone was to stop Lord Voldemort and so it would be imperative to destroy anything related to the stone. However, I feel that I am just not up to the task._

 _Which is why I am intending to leave the notes to you._

 _Please treat them well, my old friend. Do what you must. When I am gone they shall be yours along with the rest of my research materials. I trust you with this task for I know you hold the greatest reverence for academia._

 _Thank you for everything,_

 _Your friend,_

 _Nicholas_

He leant back in his chair for a moment, contemplating the future as it stood then before him. For just one more shining minute he was able to delay that which would seal his fate. With a sigh Nicholas carefully placed the letter in an envelope, poured a smidge of purple wax on the back, and pressed his seal upon it. Not wishing to delay any longer, for it would make no difference either way, Nicholas strode over to the magnificent bird and tied the letter to his outstretched leg.

"I wish you a safe flight, Fawkes."

Fawkes momentarily leant his head against the palm of Nicholas' hand before stretching his wings and flying through the open window.

Nicholas watched him go with a tinge of sadness. Finally, once the phoenix had disappeared into the horizon, Nicholas closed the open window and gave a long lingering look to the room that had served as his study for over two hundred years. There would be a tremendous amount of work to do over the coming months in order to prepare for their impending departure and he needed to begin.

"Well," Nicholas muttered to himself. "There's no time like the present."

~P~

It had been five months since Nicholas and Perenelle had made the definitive choice to destroy the stone and they were counting down the days until the end.

They had already moved out of almost all of their properties including their English country estate, Bothwell castle, and Roman villa on the southern coast of Italy. Some had been sold but many had been given to different historical societies. In contrast all of their possessions had been sold, passed on to their descendants, or given too many museums and charities. It had saddened them to part with the homes that had given them so much joy over the years but where they were going material things were useless. Perenelle had insisted upon giving the majority of their wealth to local churches, schools, and hospitals. Over the years she had generously given to all of these causes but never so much – although Nicholas knew that it gave her peace of mind to do so.

With only a few weeks left to go they had found that they only had one property left to deal with and neither was eager to finish the task. It was the home they had brought their niece and nephew up in, the home where they had begun their life. It held so many memories for them and, truth behold, Nicholas was sad to see it go. The house was nothing extravagant, just a small chateau on the outskirts of Paris, and yet it held so much sentimental value that it was far more precious than any manor house or castle.

Over the months the two of them had visited every single one of their favourite places on last time. Earlier that very day the two of them had ventured into the city and visited two of the roads that had been named after them. There weren't many places left but they were saving the most special for last, including the place they had first met.

"Nicholas," said Perenelle, unknowingly interrupting her husband's thoughts. "Did you send the invitations yet?"

"Yes, dear. I sent them off last week. Don't fret."

"Good, very good."

Perenelle delved back into the box she was sorting. Her abrupt change of interest cause Nicholas to smile as it always had. His wife was a wonderful woman. She had a kind heart and a good soul. But she also had her quirks and they were what he loved most. The fact that she could so readily change from one activity to the next with her attention as intense for each task was outstanding to him. Nicholas often found himself dithering about one thing or another but to find Perenelle dithering was such a thing he had never encountered. She was truly his better half.

As this thought came to a close he noticed that his wife seemed to have frozen, her gaze unmoving from the parchment in her hand.

It was then that Nicholas realised his mistake.

The rest of their day had been spent in the study, organising and clearing out as much as possible. There were a few boxes Nicholas had planned to go through in private for various reasons. One of those very boxes was lying brazenly on top of his wife's lap. In her hands was the very letter Nicholas had hoped nobody would ever see.

Least of all her.

Nicholas snatched the parchment from his wife's fingertips and threw it onto the desk. He took both of her hands in his and stared earnestly at her face.

"Perenelle… Say… something!"

She looked at him with stony eyes. "What can I say?"

"I'm sorry." Nicholas bowed his head, unable to meet her gaze any longer. "I never intended-"

"For me to find out?" she demanded.

"Yes."

She seemed to be taken aback by his brazen honesty and took her time forming a reply.

"Nicholas…" she began.

Her voice seemed slightly softer and so he dared a glance at her expression. It wasn't angry but pained. And that was far worse.

"Oh no, Perenelle, please don't."

She pulled her hands out of his grasp and turned away.

"It's not the fact that you did this that pains me, Nicholas. I can understand it. Even respect it. I can make peace with what you have done because I know that you regret it." She paused. "You do regret it, don't you, Nicholas?"

"Yes, I regret it. I regret it so much that my heart longs to escape from my chest and go back to change it. But my head knows it _had_ to be done."

"I know," she replied. Perenelle turned back to face him. "But, I find that what hurts the most is the fact that we have been together for over _six hundred_ years… Yet you have kept this from me. I have kept nothing, _nothing,_ from you. Now I find myself wondering if this is the only thing you have kept from me."

"It's not," said Nicholas. "But it is the only thing I have kept from you which is my secret alone. I know of others but they aren't mine to tell."

Perenelle shrugged.

"I can understand that and I do not want to fight with you. Not during our last days. But this has hurt me and I won't pretend that it hasn't."

"The truth is I was afraid…"

"Of what?"

"That you would no longer see me as you always have."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"You can't say that, you can't say that it's ridiculous."

"I can and I will. Nicholas, this doesn't change who you are and it doesn't change my view of you. It never would have."

"But you're still angry."

"Yes, but I don't plan on staying so for very long." She smiled at him and cupped his face with her hands. "We don't have long left and any time we do have together is precious. I won't waste that." Nicholas reached up and covered her right hand with his own. "However, if we were still going to be living for the foreseeable future this would be an extremely different conversation."

Nicholas laughed. They had been joking like this for a while now; it seemed to make their future far less formidable. Even so that familiar feeling rose up inside him once again.

"I don't think I'm ready for this."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid."

"Of what, my love?" ask Perenelle.

"The uncertainty of it all. We are leaving behind so much for something nobody can be sure about."

Perenelle smiled at him. "You don't have to live forever, you just have to live. And we most certainly have. It's our time and I am sure we will be together wherever we end up."

Nicholas bent his head and gave Perenelle a soft, lingering kiss.

The day finally had finally arrived for them to take their leave of the world. Nicholas was completely at ease for he knew that he had enjoyed the best life one could hope for and would be spending the next eternity with the woman he loved. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed forever was the smiling face of his wife and, in his opinion, there was no better sight in the world.


End file.
